Family Stories 2014

Sunday, November 30, 2014

There is no Monday Message this week. This past Sunday three congregants shared the pulpit telling us personal stories of tolerance, perseverance, and surrender.

Thanks to each of you for opening your hearts to us.

Bless everything,
Rev. Brad

This Need Not Be

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I want to talk some more about the idea that there are but two “voices,” or thought systems to which we listen and choose from. One voice encourages that we lash out, feel guilt, shame, anger; that we belittle another, roll our eyes and laugh at others, and so on, and demands that we pretty much see ourselves as separate and apart from everybody and everything else.

The other voice invites us to see the interests of everyone else as our own.

We are, after all, all interested in having internal peace, in feeling safe and secure in the world.

One voice says love begets love - and that’s how we achieve our goal - and the other says attack, no matter how small, begets power (which it mistakes for love) - and that’s how we achieve our goal.

What do you think?

The voice that speaks for attack – the one that encourages us to lash out - can also be called the ego. The ego wants us to be anxious, in fear, and feeling guilty all the time. The ego is the thought system that says, not only is it possible, but it’s true that we are separate from God and each other. It’s the voice that tells us our self ends at the outer surface of our skin. No wonder we can feel isolated, anxious, and all alone!

This need not be.

The other of the two voices, the Voice for God, can be heard when we are quiet and listen for it. The voice for God can also be heard in some of the words attributed to Jesus such as these in MT 6:25, "Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life."

Haven’t you seen people actually work themselves up into such a frenzy that they bring on an anxiety attack, or become so mentally and emotionally paralyzed that they can’t do anything to help themselves? (That’s probably happened to each of us at one time or another.) I believe you know the importance of releasing negative feelings and letting go of painful memories.

God is with us always.

Well-being and contentment is found only in the Voice for God. The more we choose that voice, the more we accumulate the feeling of well-being and contentment. God loves you. Through God’s love, Divine love, you can release whatever may have happened in your childhood, the past year, yesterday, or a moment ago.

You are whole and free NOW.

The past does not limit or defeat you.

If we cannot hear the Voice for God, it is for one reason only; we do not choose to listen for it.

How do we know to which voice we’re listening? It is demonstrated by our attitudes, our feelings and our behavior. Whichever voice we listen to will manifest in our attitude, feelings, and behavior.

Which voice will you listen for and to?

The apostle Paul talked about looking through a glass darkly. This is how the ego sees; its vision is obscured and thus doubts, worries, fears and feels guilty, then attacks to save face.

The indwelling Christ presence does not need saving; it is unchangeable, eternal, indelible. Ask yourself this: how does the indelible need saving?

The Persian Poet, Rumi so eloquently wrote, “Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there.”

Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and right doing is the Presence of God. I will meet you there.

Your mind is one with God’s. Denying this – that your mind is one with God) and thinking otherwise is what holds the ego together. Think with God’s mind and the ego dissolves.

Which Voice (teacher, guide) you follow is your choice.

Please remember always that you are not alone. God is with you in this moment and God will be with you through all the days of your life. God is your present help in every need.

When you are sad, know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something you want and do not have (awareness of God’s wisdom/guidance/love/peace). Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions. Remember that and then decide otherwise.

You are a beloved child of God.

You are not your ego no matter how much it insists you are.

Side with God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit consistently against this deception that you are small and unworthy.

When I first had my real estate license and was fresh on the job, I inadvertently gave away the strategy of one of my fellow agents, Charlotte, to an agent from another company whose clients were competing with Charlotte’s clients. Needless to say Charlotte’s clients did not get the property they wanted so very much.

I felt terrible.

Ego screamed at me that I was small an unworthy and I refused to let that deception take root. I realized I made a mistake, mistakes can be undone.

The only real mistake we make is choosing to follow or believe in the council that comes from the wrong voice, the voice of the ego (the voice NOT for love) rather than the voice for love.

I needed to continuously remind myself after giving away the strategy of Charlotte’s clients that I am a child of God.

There is no limit to the power of a child of God. We can limit the expression of our power as much as we choose, but there is no limit to it. Your mind and Spirit can unite in releasing the strength of God into everything you think and do. Please do not settle for anything less than this, and refuse to accept anything but this as your goal.

Rejoice in who you are. Daily learn to let go and let God. You are God's beloved child, unlimited and able to accomplish great things. God is your present help in every need.

I believe in you wholeheartedly.

God bless you.

I’ll close with this scripture found in Psalms 62:5: "For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from God." Psalms 62:5.

"Abbacatastasis"

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Today is “Big Word Sunday.” I have three big words in mind for today.

The first one is a word I’m confident everyone here knows. What word comes to mind when I wave my magic wand over this top hat?

Abracadabra, that’s right.

Ok, one big word down, two to go.

The next word is one I will have to introduce to you because I’m guessing it might be the first time you’ve heard it.

Actually, after I say the word if anyone knows its definition, or would like to take a guess at it, please raise your hand… and by the way, I’m also going to ask you to use it in a sentence. ;-)

Apocatastasis.   (APO KUH TAS TUH SIS)

Apocatastasis has two meanings according to dictionary.com (SLIDE): 1) “The state of being restored or reestablished: restitution,” and 2) “The doctrine that Satan and all sinners will ultimately be restored to God.” When we say, “All paths lead to God in the end” we are talking about apocatastasis.

(Note: Apo means “away from,” also, the farthest point from (i.e. apogee) catastasis is “the third part of an ancient Greek drama, in which the action is heightened for the [forthcoming] catastrophe. Apocatastasis: the furthest point away from catastrophe”)

We are “returned,” “restored,” “reestablished” to the awareness of God.

Two big words down, one to go. The last word was coined, as far as I know, by a Unity minister named Chris Chenoweth. Chris says it’s a word and an idea he uses in workshops;

“Abbacatastasis.”

Abbacatastasis means, “What looks like disaster today, God will turn into good tomorrow.” (because God is Good and everywhere present)

God's good floods our lives constantly and Divine help is accessible to us at all times. It’s up to us to open ourselves up and “let it in” to our awareness.

The next time a seemingly bad thing happens to you say "Abbacatastasis" (would you say that with me please, Abbacatastasis) to remind yourself that God's good will come to pass in the most surprising and uplifting ways by letting it, God/God’s good, into our awareness.

Please let, what Unity teaches, be firm in your understanding that it is NOT the will of God for disasters and bad things to happen. (I’m not the Public Information Officer for God… just saying this is how we see it in Unity) It IS the will of God to help you pick up the so-called pieces and turn around, what you view as, your misfortune to the best of possible outcomes.

Affirm for yourself that these outcomes, where we invite God in; ask; listen; and put into action that guidance are always better than our human mind could conceive. In a few minutes I’ll tell you a few stories to illustrate that point of how including God gives you a better outcome than you can manage on your own. For now, please remember that God always knows a way out because God always knows the way.

“Bad things and events” sometimes appear to happen to very good people… like you, for instance. When you are in the consciousness of “bad things happening to me,” say to yourself, “Abbacatastasis” as a reminder that God's good will come to pass in the most surprising and uplifting ways by letting it into our awareness.

From this moment forward, I invite you to hold positively to the belief in good outcomes. Make “good outcomes” your strong belief.

Rev. Chris tells the story of a woman that lost her job (she was fired) and started to think of herself as an unfortunate victim destined to suffer.

Then she said to herself "Abbacatastasis" to again remind herself that she was not alone. She prayed and God gave her the idea to move to a larger
city to look for another job. Times were tough for a while and the change was difficult. She struggled on the little money she had left. Each day, God was fortifying her with inner strength. She was led by God to apply for a different type of job then she had ever done before. She got the job and she said later that the new job "fed her soul." She felt needed and
wanted in the new workplace. She felt valued, and eventually rose within the company to become a vice president.

Please don’t be misled. This story is not about the outcome, but about the process that led to a better outcome than the “destined to suffer” outcome she had been imagining for herself

She said that, getting fired was the luckiest thing that ever happened to her, and she was blind to it at the time.

"Abbacatastasis"

When something bad happens to you, I ask you to say this word aloud “Abbacatastasis" – to again remind yourself that God is your help in every
need, and will turn this misfortune around to bless your life.

Three Compliments

Sunday, November 9, 2014

I’d like to ask something of you today. I’d like to ask you to give away a compliment to 3 unsuspecting people. In fact, I ask you to continue this practice, as a commitment to extending love until the end of the year… next year… until the end of 2015. And because we laid to rest, “I Can’t” last week I know you’re already anxiously awaiting more information on this with your’ “I can, I will, I’ll start right now” attitude. Am I right?

Each day, you will give away 3 compliments, one each to 3 different people (or start with one each day… but start). I suggest you give compliments to people you know, and people you have just met.

I got this idea from a Gratitude to God Calendar.

Let me tell you a little bit of the history behind this idea on this calendar.

Over the year prior to publishing the calendar, a group of people volunteered to test the effect of different techniques to increase a person’s spirituality. It was surprising to the people involved how much effect the commitment to give away 3 compliments a day has.

Unity refers to its approach to Christianity as “Positive Practical Christianity.” One of the practical lessons we learn from the teachings, and the living, of Jesus is gratitude.

A practical practice of gratitude involves being grateful for other people, and telling them so. We are going beyond just saying thank you, to giving compliments.

Compliments often surprise the receiver. And compliments leave an afterglow of warmth, both in the giver, and the receiver… even in the observer.

Jane and I were out to dinner with friends Suzanne and Steven. As was Steven’s way, he complimented our server. As soon as she approached the table, said her name and told us she’d be our server tonight, the conversation went something like this:

Steven, “That’s a very nice necklace. Is there a story behind it?”

Server, “No, it’s just a necklace I bought at the store.”

Steven, “Well it looks very nice on you. You have good taste!”

Server, “oh… thank you.”

It never mattered where we went, or who we saw, Steven always offered a compliment to a complete stranger. Frankly, that’s something I’d wanted to be better at.

It’s said that a good life is made up of the accumulation of days.

On our journey to awareness we will see how we’d like to change some of the ways in which we live our days. Those changes sometimes occur immediately and sometimes it requires practice, to form new habits.

Another thing that’s also been said is, “People do not fall in love with you, they fall in love with the way THEY FEEL when they are with you.”

So how about living the next year inviting people to feel good in your presence… and it may require some practice to form the habit of giving compliments. Here are two criteria I’m asking you to go by:

(1)             The compliments you will give away won’t be faked, they’ll be sincere. I don’t think it’s really extending love by giving away cookie-cutter insincere compliments, and I don’t think they have much effect.

(2)             Compliments do not contain corrections. You are not saying, "You are pretty BUT you would look prettier if you did this." That is not a compliment, it is a correction.

What I’m, asking you to do is to look beyond the outer face, or form, and to compliment a person's character as often as possible. When you don’t know a person, then compliment something in the outer form like their necklace, or their smile…

Few people ever compliment a person's character, so do that when you can.

The compliments you give will always be true, positive, and uplifting.

Uh-oh, has “I Can’t” risen from the grave? Are the “I Can’t” zombies tramping through your mind right now? Do you feel you don’t have the strength to offer a compliment to a stranger? Are you worried about what words to say?

Do you need strength? Ask God to help you, be aware, then stop and feel for it. It’s there.

Ask God what to say, then stop and listen. God will give you the words, if you will ask, and you will be extending God’s Love into the world by delivering them.

Your bravery will increase over time. You will look forward to giving compliments to strangers, because you will see your empowering effect on them.

Back to what I read about the “test group” before this suggestion went on the Gratitude to God Calendar. “Some people said in the beginning that they could never go up to a stranger and give a compliment. Well, that changed in a surprising short period of time.”

“Some of our best people, practicing this new spiritual art form, are naturally shy. Tremendous friendships of been formed, and even significant relationships, that otherwise would of never happened.”

Could it be that you are not here by chance today? Could it be that because you are here today to hear this that you have been called to do this? Could that be?

Our desire in life is to make a difference, yes? And you will make a difference, sometimes larger than you will ever know.

In Chicken Soup for the Soul there is this short story:

“Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother’s sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, you did a lot more than help me pick up those books that day, you saved my life."

-John W. Schlatter”

What difference did that one act of kindness make?

Most of us routinelysay thank you. As great as that is, it is sometimes an automatic response, and sometimes received an automatic sleepy way. Taking the extra time to give a compliment awakens the receiver.

It only takes a few seconds longer, to make a real connection with another person.

Again, I invite you to make this a sincere practice, and give away real, true compliments – 3 per day to 3 different people per day.

Look for reasons to compliment.

It's inexpensive to give compliments, and yet priceless to the receiver.

I look back on my life now, and my most priceless possessions are compliments, some of which I received decades ago, but are now held tightly in my mind.

When I was 19 years old and dreadfully, painfully shy and uncertain about myself, I was with my buddy Jeff and we were at his girlfriend, Linda’s house. It was the first time I had ever been there. Linda asked me to come outside with her. She took me to the front of the house and showed me the landscaping.

In one of those rare “brave” moments from deep within my shyness, I asked her why she was showing me that. Her answer was, “Because you’re a sensitive person and I thought you’d enjoy this.”

It just felt good to hear; for a moment I didn’t feel so invisible and small. Obviously that simple compliment touched me deeply because I still remember it 48 years later! (and I feel gratitude and warmth in remembering it)

Some people look for reasons to complain. But you are Not one of these people.

There are only two “teachers” to follow. One teaches love, the other teaches not love, in all its myriad forms. We follow one teacher or the other. It’s as simple as that.

As a side note here, when we’re doing a personal inventory, we often get too absorbed in the details – “I didn’t do this, that, and the other thing as well as I would have liked. I need to correct this, that, and the other thing.” Now we seem to have three mistakes (or many more) that need correcting when the only mistake that needs correcting is the teacher to whom we listen. Our experience in life is really no more complicated than which teacher choose to listen to; the voice of not good enough, or the Voice for Love.

Jesus said "Let your light shine." A compliment is a brilliant light. Some compliments will be remembered in the minds of the receiver forever.

If you choose to consciously extend compliments each day, you will go to bed at night with a surprising new “soul smile.”

Begin right now, today, with your compliments. Do you know that when a person delays the start of a new spiritual practice, they likely never will begin?

So when you leave the house, or the office, the church today, will look for 3 people to compliment.

No excuses.

It's never too late.

Someone is waiting for you.

Someone needs you.

Someone is craving your message.

The person who needs to hear your compliment comes at exactly the right time.

Your compliment may well be like water on the desert to someone.

Be God in action on earth. Extend God’s love through a compliment.

Make a difference.

R.I.P. "I Can't"

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Today we’re going to talk for a few minutes about the building of spider webs. These words are from the website, “HowThingsWork.com.”

“Every web begins with a single thread, which forms the basis of the rest of the structure. To establish this bridge, the spider climbs to a suitable starting point (up a tree branch, for example) and releases a length of thread into the wind. With any luck, the free end of the thread will catch onto another branch. If the spider feels that the thread has caught onto something, it cinches up the silk and attaches the thread to the starting point.

It walks across the thread, releasing a looser thread below the first one. It attaches this thread on both ends and climbs to its center. The looser strand sags downward, forming a V-shape. The spider lowers itself from this point, to form a Y-shape.” (http://animals.howstuffworks.com/arachnids/spider5.htm)

The key element in web-building is in the first sentence, “Every web begins with a single thread, which forms the basis of the rest of the structure.”

Every web begins with one strong connecting link. If you break that link, the web collapses.

Our creation began with one strong connecting link, so to speak. That link is with God. Fortunately for us that link cannot be removed, diminished, hacked, harmed, broken, or hurt in any way.

From the laws inherent in the connecting link, we then build the various aspects of our life from that one strong strand of connection. In this metaphor we would say that vibrating within that one strong strand of connection with God lay all the “laws of life.” It is from that strand and the vibration of those laws of life that we build our lives.

How do we become aware of the vibrations of that link, with clarity and understanding? We do it through our thought system. We become aware of that link with God and its laws of action through our thought system.

The same is accurate for unawareness. We become/stay unaware of God and its laws of action, again, through our thought system.

What is your thought system?

Is it one of “I Am,” or “I Can’t?”

The thought system of “I Can’t” blocks the awareness of God’s Presence. “I Can’t” establishes and maintains a distance between where we are now, so to speak, and that to which we wish to achieve and/or experience.

Our thoughts of the “I Am” keeps us close in awareness to the presence of God. I am capable; I am a child of God, I am willing to change my unloving habits, etc.

“I Am” is the name of God.

“I Am” is your creation name.

 “I Am” keeps us together. “I Can’t” keeps us apart… keeps us apart from the things we want to do.

I invite you to take the pad that was handed out to you today and list on it as many “I Can’t’s” about yourself as possible. Dig deep for those buried “I Can’t’s,” too. (examples: I can’t: make _____ happy, open chips and eat a few, do math, bite my tongue when I need to, get to sleep quickly at night, stand the idiots I work with, believe God loves me, get _____ to like me, get _____ to clean up after themselves, etc.)

(Give about three minutes for writing)

Now I’m going to ask you to fold your sheet(s) up and drop them into the paper bag that is coming across your aisle.

(Collect all the paper bags and pour the contents into one shoebox. Seal the shoebox with tape.)

Now I would like to invite everyone who’s willing to join me outside. If it’s too cold for you today, or standing for four or five minutes is too much for you, you can watch from the south window. I also won’t be too far away for our wireless sound system to pick up my words. So, if you choose to stay inside, you’ll be able to hear me.

Let’s get our jackets and coats and go outside.

(Gather around the hole that’s already been dug)

Please join hands and bow your heads.

 “Friends, we gather today to honor the memory of ‘I can’t.’ While he was with us on earth, he touched the lives of everyone, some more than others.

His name, unfortunately, has been spoken in every public building – schools, city halls, state capitols, and yes, even the White House.

We have provided ‘I can’t’ with a final resting place. He is survived by his brothers and sister, ‘I can,’ ‘I will,’ and ‘I’m going to right away.’ They are not as well-known as their famous relative and are certainly not as strong and powerful… yet. Perhaps, some day, with your help, they will make an even bigger mark on the world.

“May ‘I can’t’ rest in peace and may everyone present here today pick up their lives and move forward in his absence. Amen.”

We’ll now return to the sanctuary for some closing words.

In the human mind, in our un-awareness of our connection with God, we believe in limitation. We fool ourselves into thinking we are alone and somehow, we have to do it alone. We have to figure everything out alone. We have to climb over this mountain alone, heal our bodies alone. This is not true. I am telling you, today, as you sit here in this church, God is with you.

Your strong connecting point is present.

 You are not alone.

It is impossible for you to be alone. God does not know the meaning of “I can’t.” With God, you can do anything, be anything, and overcome anything.

Why can you? BECAUSE GOD CAN and you are directly connected to God.